Fine tuning the opening sentence of your personal statement is a task most students dread, particularly because so much attention is given to the opening sentence as it should catch the reader’s attention. You’re told that there needs to be a wow factor involved and that your sentence should set the tone and quality of the rest of the personal statement. No pressure, eh?
In fact, writing a strong opening sentence is relevant to more than just university applicants. You'll also need a strong opening statement for applying for an apprenticeship or a school leaver scheme so sorry guys, you’re not off the hook.
We’re not going to lie — the opening sentence is pretty important, but it’s also important that the personal statement doesn’t go downhill from there. Think of your personal statement like a football team — even if you have the best goal scorer in the world, if you have a dodgy defence or mildly-interested midfield, it’s not a great recipe for success.
Overused Opening Sentences
Whatever you do with your opening sentence, make sure you use something different to the most overused statements.
“But how do I know which opening sentences are the most overused?” I hear you cry. Well, we did some research and found an article by UCAS that listed the most overused opening sentences. Here they are:
1. From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]… (used 1,779 times)
2. For as long as I can remember I have… (used 1,451 times)
3. I am applying for this course because… (used 1,370 times)
4. I have always been interested in… (used 927 times)
5. Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… (used 310 times)
6. Reflecting on my educational experiences… (used 257 times)
7. Nursing is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… (used 211 times)
8. Academically, I have always been… (used 168 times)
9. I have always wanted to pursue a career in… (used 160 times)
10. I have always been passionate about… (used 160 times)
11. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world… (used 148 times)
The (over)use of the quote from Nelson Mandela about “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” is particularly cringe worthy — if you’re going to include a quote, make sure it’s more than just a popular quote that you once saw on Instagram. Show that you’ve done some reading around the subject and be prepared to properly explain why you like a particular quote.
Writing Your Opening Sentence
Aside from avoiding overused quotes and words such as ‘passionate’ or ‘deeply fascinated’, we recommend being original and referring to personal experiences as a way to draw attention.
For example, if you were writing a personal statement for a History course, you could open with something like, “Making an evacuation suitcase at the age of nine made me realise for the first time how historical events had affected real people.”
Not only does this draw on personal experience and highlight your knowledge of a certain area of history, it also provides you with an opening to elaborate upon your interest in social history. If you already know what graduate job or scheme you want to pursue after university, then you can further relate your opening anecdote to your future plans.
Don’t sit in front of a blank page for ages and furiously try to come up with the perfect opening sentence. If you’re stuck on your opening sentence, then perhaps try writing it last. After all, writing the rest of your personal statement will allow you to see the finished piece before adding the token opening sentence. The best opening sentences refer to your experiences, so think hard about what stands out in your memories in regards to your relationship with your chosen subject. Jot them down and then make one of these memories attention grabbing for someone who doesn’t know you.
Opening sentences are tricky, but they don’t make or break a personal statement. For more information on how to write a personal statement, check out these articles:
A lot of students worry about their opening sentence(s). This is because you’ve probably been told that the first few lines of your personal statement need to grab the attention of the admissions tutor.
It’s good to think of a memorable way to kick things off but don’t overthink it or spend too much time on your opening; it’s not the be all and end all. Admissions tutors are less concerned with your ability to write a fancy or wacky introduction and more interested in your passion and enthusiasm for the course.
Begin your personal statement with a personal touch
Your opening doesn’t need to go over the top to impress admissions tutors. Jonathan Hardwick is a former head of sixth form and now a professional development manager at Inspiring Futures, a provider of careers information, advice and guidance to young people. He explains: ‘A straightforward sentence that goes on to demonstrate your enthusiasm is much better than trying to get their attention with an outrageous statement or a quote from an obscure historian about overcoming great difficulties.’
The most effective opening sentence will keep it nice and simple, and be personal to you. Think about what made you pick the subject and what you enjoy the most about it. Then try and summarise this in one or two sentences.
You could start your statement with something along the lines of ‘What I like most about studying French is getting to grips with a new culture. I enjoy the challenge of trying to read French literature, listen to French songs and watch French movies and plays in their original forms. I want to study French at university to improve my understanding of the language.’ To make sure it’s personal to you, draw on your own experiences and knowledge. Have you been to see a French opera performance or read the work of a French poet, for example?
‘Try to be as clear and concise as possible,’ advises Helen Relf, undergraduate admissions co-ordinator for English, drama & publishing at Loughborough University. ‘We are looking for bright, lively and articulate students who can tell us exactly why they are different or an individual.’ Cut the academic talk and long-winded sentences. Why say something in 20 words that you could say in ten words?
How not to begin your personal statement
To make sure your opening sentence is original, here are four ways you shouldn't begin your personal statement.
1. Avoid overused opening sentences
‘An admissions tutor might read over 3,000 personal statements a year so it can be hard to stand out,’ says Jonathan. Admissions tutors will appreciate it’s difficult to think of an opening that nobody will have ever used before. However, try to avoid using common openings that lots of students will use.
To give you an idea of the most overused openings, UCAS published a list of the ten most frequently used opening lines in personal statements in the 2015 application cycle. The most common opening was ‘From a young age I have always been interested in/fascinated by…’ (used by 1,179 students), while other openings on the list include ‘For as long as I can remember I have…’ (1,451 students), ‘I am applying for this course because…’ (1,370 students) and ‘I have always been interested in…’ (927 students).
2. Steer clear of clichéd openings and childhood anecdotes
‘Avoid anything too whimsical,’ advises Emma-Marie Fry, an area director at Inspiring Futures. Emma manages the career guidance team in London and the south-east and goes into schools to deliver support to students.
She says: ‘Admissions tutors want to know about your brain's potential and your education and development, not your childhood dreams. If getting your first telescope when you were five sparked your interest in astronomy or you’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since you broke your leg when you were six, that’s great, but it’s not what the admissions tutors need to know. What have you done more recently?’
Similarly, avoid talking about what your family members do for a living. ‘Don’t say “My parent is a teacher so I want to be a teacher.” It needs to be personal to you,’ says Jonathan. Instead, explain what you’ve done that’s made you want to become a teacher. Did you shadow a teacher at your local primary school for a week? Or do you spend your Sundays coaching the local children’s football team?
3. Be wary of opening your personal statement with a joke
You might have thought of the perfect joke to start your statement with, but does it set the right tone? And will the admissions tutor share your sense of humour?
‘Admissions tutors like to see originality but they don’t like too much jokiness,’ warns Emma. ‘They want to get a sense of you as a person but this means your academic strength and passion for the subject, not your sense of humour.’
4. Begin your personal statement with your own voice, not a quote from a famous person
Epigraphs – aka quotes – aren’t nearly as interesting to admissions tutors as what you’ve got to say yourself. ‘It might be tempting to start your personal statement with an epigraph but, often, beginning with your own words is best and more likely to be original,’ says Dr Helen Moggridge, a lecturer in geography at the University of Sheffield. If you do want to include a quote, make sure it’s relevant to the course you’re applying for and always explain how this quote links back to you and the subject you want to study.
You might think that a famous quote will help you stand out but you won’t be the only person who thinks it would be a great idea to include a well-known quote from the likes of Mahatma Ghandi, William Shakespeare, Karl Lagerfeld and so on. If you’re applying to study psychology, for example, it would be better to ditch the quote from Sigmund Freud in favour of a quote from a less well-known psychologist that you encountered through your wider reading.
You should also think about whether the person you are quoting is appropriate or not. ‘Avoid inspirational quotes from Drake or Kanye West, for example,’ says Emma. Similarly, it might not be wise to quote a reality TV star from The Only Way is Essex or Made in Chelsea.
Finally, steer clear of generic inspirational quotes about chasing your dreams, overcoming obstacles and the power of education. This can sound wishy washy or even a little bit pretentious and it doesn’t tell the admissions tutor anything about you or why you’re interested in the course.
Not sure how to begin your personal statement? Consider writing your opening sentence last
Just because your opening sentence is the first thing the admissions tutors will read, that doesn’t mean it needs to be the first section of your personal statement that you write. It can be tricky to decide how you want to begin your statement so, if you’re stuck on what to write, consider taking a break from it and focusing on other sections of your personal statement.
It might seem unusual but you might even find it easier to make your opening sentence the last thing you write. This will help you think about what the rest of your statement goes on to say and, therefore, how you can best introduce it.
Remember that the opening sentence is only a small part of the 4,000 characters that make up your personal statement. What you go on to write next is far more important to admissions tutors so don’t focus too much time and effort on just the opening sentence.
For help on what to write next, read our article on what to include in your UCAS personal statement. You can also use our course search to find the courses you want to apply to.