My teacher made us write a little essay about 'The importance of ...." and I chose 'of money'. So I wrote, and would be VERY glad if a person who knows English well correct it. I know I may be expecting a lot, but it's important not to have many mistakes. Also the writing style.... Actually it's not a hard text to correct, because my English writing is very simple. So... I would be very glad!
I hope somebody could do this... Last time it was ignored^^ But I would really be grateful
The importance of money
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance. The importance of money has become so important for live, that you could not survive without it. You could not even buy something to eat. You would end up being a poor homeless person. Even if you try harmonizing with the nature to survive, it would be almost impossible nowadays, expect you would be living in a tribe. Tribes have learned to live naturally and have adapted to the nature, while industry countries have invented artificial stuff for everything. Money is one of the most important things in our lives. Even if we haven’t noticed yet, living without it would be literally inconceivable. What makes money that popular, though?
Nowadays you need money for your whole life; for clothes, for food, for a shelter and even water costs. You may know the proverb ‘Money doesn’t bring happiness’. It’s very controversial. Half says it is wrong, the other says it is true. But would you be happy without any penny? Since money is a large part of our life, you need at least little money to be happy.
Another important point is for education. School here may be gratis, with money you are able to afford for example a private school or extra help, though. Also if your parents work in a good company, they may be able to get you a good apprenticeship.
Money has caused many problems, though. Thus, I think it would be good to share out the money better. That’s very difficult, because then, I think, there would be a commercial crisis. Whereas, our state could produce more money and donate it to Third World Countries. There wouldn’t be that much poverty, then.
Nowadays poverty exists all over the world and it is increasing more and more. Many people have lost their jobs because of money. For example new machines have been invented and do now the work, which a person used to do. All because the company had enough money, and they want to produce as reasonably as possible.
I think you don’t have to have bulky money, but at least enough to buy food and be happy and to be on the safe side; for example being able to pay taxes. But even that little money a lot of people don’t have.
All in all I now see even better, that money is really important. I have also seen that money will always cause problems. I guess the importance of money keeps on rising. To be honest, I have been wanting to become a person with a lot of money. Not only because I think money brings happiness, also because I want to be on the safe side. Also, I want my children to have a good chance for life. I want them to be able to reach something in life.
Who knows, what ‘money’ will be in 50 years.
Two more things:
1) I'm not sure if I should add this sentence:
I happened to see a TV show where some people are trying a life without money. That’s why I decided to research that topic a little.
If so, this would be the first sentence, and is followed by: Not only the worth .......
2) Should the title be: The importance of money or The Importance Of Money ?
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
Our lives are gradually improving and our money need for daily life is thus on the increase. It is obvious that money is very helpful to us, but in addition to their benefits, there are many downsides that it has brought to life.
Firstly, money brings about a lot ot advantages as seen from the fact. We use it to equip our houses with furniture, to buy food, clothes and all other things we need to live comfortably. Money is an essential condition for every student to go to school and for every patient to see a doctor. Moreover, we can use it for charity to help the unfortunate feel somewhat materially compensated. Without money, our lives are penurious, it is very hard to meet the minimum requirements in life, which is simply eating or drinking.
Apart from those advantages, there are numerous downsides brought to us by money. First of all, it makes us grasping. Undeniably, money is very valuable in life, the more money we earn, the more materials we have. Therefore, people always try their best to earn as much money as possible due to their desire to have a better life. Some, however, do not. They want more money simply because of their rivalries. They wish to be as wealthy as millionaires or billionaires. This indeliberately spoils their morality. Secondly, money rules over evil-doing behaviours. Earning money legitimately is a difficult task, but some people want it to be an easy one by conscienceless acts which are likely to be robbing or murdering. They are not alive to the fact that such behaviours can end them up in prison.
In a word, whether money does good or harm, it depends greatly on our perception of it. With money in our hands, we should let it be our servants, not our masters in order to build a better and better world where no crimes exist.