A popular saying goes, "Marriage involves three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
If it is commonly felt that marriage is so difficult, why do most people wish to get married? Probably, the instinct to find a mate is inherent in human beings; and I am no exception. Somehow, I believe that there is someone out there who was made specially for me, and, once I find him, we will fall in love, and get married; and only then will I feel complete. So, how will I recognise my Mr Right? What qualities should I be looking for?
First of all, I am not looking for "Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome". Character is more important than looks. I cannot deny that I am attracted to good-looking boys, but marrying solely for physical attraction will probably lead to short term pleasure but life-long regret. I have also noticed that handsome boys are often vain and arrogant, which I find most unattractive. One of the main things that I admire in a man is humility. Such a man will not boast about his wealth, intelligence or achievements, but, instead appreciate other people's abilities and achievements. He will also readily admit when he has made a mistake. Such a man would be a joy to live with.
Good communication is the key to any solid relationship, most of all, marriage. I would want my future husband to share his thoughts with me. I want to hear his dreams and to share in his struggles. On the other hand, I will also need someone who will be ready to listen to me, and interested to know what is happening in my life. There should be no secrets between us.
Life is full of challenges. We can expect to face failure as well as success; heartache as well as joy; boredom as well as excitement. So, the perfect husband should have a positive attitude and a good sense of humour. He should be witty and say things which make me laugh. The perfect husband would also be one who can see the silver lining behind every cloud, rather than focus on the flaws in every situation. With such a man, I will be encouraged to look at life in a happier and more positive way.
Above all other qualities, the perfect husband will be faithful. He must be someone who really believes in that marriage is made to last "till death do us part". He will be totally committed to our relationship, and willing to stay for the long haul, "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse"; as couples promise in the wedding vows. The perfect husband would not be distracted by other women; not even when I have lost my looks. He would be a "one woman man". In return, I will also promise my total loyalty and faithfulness to my future husband.
Actually, there are many other qualities that make a man perfect husband material. For example, one obvious quality would be the ability to provide; and, though it is not the most important quality, physical attraction must be a part of the equation for a marriage to work well. However, while it is easy to make lists, finding a man to live up to them will be very difficult. Furthermore, instead of focusing on my requirements for the perfect husband, I think I should recognise my own imperfections, and set about correcting them. As Barnett Brickner said, "Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."
My thoughts on the qualities that my future spouse should have. Although it is impossible to foretell what is going to happen in the future, there are some areas in which we can lay the foundation of happiness. Good example of this is marriage. A Chinese saying states thatthe worst thing a woman fears is marrying the wrong man. This is certainly very true. Thus, it is important to ensure that we know what we are looking for in our futurespouse. The first quality that I would loo for isdefinitely dependability.
If I were to share my life with a person, I would definitely want to be sure that he is a trustworthy man who I can always turn to. If he was irresponsible, it would be near impossible to try to build a life together. I remember my neighbors in the last place my family lived in. Mrs. Lee was a wonderfully sweet lady who juggled three jobs in a day to give her four children a decent life. Yet, she was ever burdened by her drunkard of a husband who not only failed to keep a job but also turn to her for money shamelessly.
In such a case I cannot help but think that my future husband must be someone I can depend on. It is also imperative that my future husband is an honest man. Honesty is especially vital in a relationship because both parties must be sure that they are trusted and can trust the other person. Imagine a situation where both parties are suspicious of each other and are constantly trying to spy on the other person, it will certainly be a miserable relationship!
After all, the social obligation and activities that we have can necessitate both the husband and thewife having to spend time away fromeach other. If one party feels that the other maybe up to something fishy, a lot of unpleasantness can result. It willbe terrible to life in a marriage wherethere is no honesty with each other. By nature, I am a happy-go-lucky person who enjoys a good life once in a while. If I have to spend the rest of my life with a man who finds it difficult to see the fun in life, then I would feel like a bird in an extremelysmall cage being unable to unfurl my wings to fly.
When I think of my future husband, I think of someone with a quirky sense of humor and a ready laugh. It will be someone who will see the bright side of matters instead of getting unnecessarily bogged down by problems. To me, a good sense of humor is an essential ingredient in the recipe for a lasting marriage. Of course, it must be noted that this criteria may change with time as I mature with the myriad of experiences that is sure to come my way. in time to come, I am sure a me complete picture of my ideal husbandwill emerge.